Who screams "no!" during sex?

We're in a bit of a caffuffle (how does one spell that?) right now. I'm fleeing to blogger like I told my nice LiveJournal mates a while back. 'Cause this is a "sensitive" post. Here I can divulge all, because no folks that I know read this.

Basically, I've had this one boy after my arse for a good few months now. He's very temperamental: slits his wrists when on a downer - all that kinda stuff. Anyway, he is quite nice and all, beyond all that. He can just be a bit hypersensitive at time.

For some reason, when I'm around him, I feel attracted to him, and we kiss and all that malarky. We had sex for the second time today. The worst of it is though (checks over shoulder) I was fantasising about another man at points during the act of intercouse. In fact, it was most embarrassing, on reflection: I started screaming "No!" over and over again when it was getting pretty good. (I didn't climax, because I found that the circulation to my head was being cut off from leaning over a wire fence, and he kept slipping out.)

"No"? - "No"?. Shouldn't it be more of a "yesss!"?

To the point - I've had so-called Christians lambasting me for my sinful ways (I'm backslidden) and the boy's mother thinks that I'm trying to hurt him and top up my own self-esteem. This is not the case. Words could not express how sensitive I am towards this boy.

She's also read my other blog and is quizzing Graham on the activities of a sexual nature that he has engaged in with me. Oh joy.

I'm tired.

Heather.