Grrraaaaargh!!!

I am feeling uptight and scared and rather nervous right now... I suffer from bureauphobia (it probably exists, but I'm not checking,) and I have to walk into offices to sort crap out. You have no idea! If I get a 9-5 job in an office, I will promptly hang myself.

I am rather pissed of. Royally pissed off. Many things I tell you - many things...

Where is my man? My knight in shining armour? Why am prostituting myself to the establishments which I hate? When will all this cease? - Death?

We are such stuff as dreams are made on. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer...

Oh aye Shakespeare, you said it all - but sadly, I wasn't around to bed you. I bet you looked great in those tights...

Love & Lust

I disdain it - but I am an adolescent. I am a single adolescent. I am not yet immune to crushes. I am above average in attractiveness and have a few devoted suitors; none of whom I'd like to pursue a relationship with. I have a libido. I quite fancy a guy, twice my age, who is below average in (physical) attractiveness. If he does like me - he's very reticent. Though, I would assume he doesn't. This great web of unrequited amour makes me rather frustated at times.

Perhaps I was overbearingly communicative.

He has been totally overbearingly taciturn.

It's like, uh, hello there, uh, I'm half your age and twice as intelligent (<- joke); I'm half your age, but I have a great personality. Does it evade your perception that we are rather compatible folks?

Yes sir - I sound pathetic; but you know I'm not. I am not wistful, or presumptuous; I have deep-cutting perspicacity. I ken these things.

It's like - slap - what is wrong with you? Agh - just let me ruffle your hair for goodness sake!

Unless of course, one already has ae respective partner. Even at that - homo sapiens are supposed to tend slightly towards polygyny rather than absolute monogamy. Men are more likely to seek extra mates. The sex industry bears witness to this. I neither condone nor encourage this - merely, tell it how it is. Still, I understand...

My hands grow weary, and my heart, languid. I do need a man.

Kingston!

Like most 17-year-olds - I'm in a band. Unlike most 17-year-olds - the band I'm in is good.

We had a gig today. It was rather a Sod's Law affair: Cheryl's acoustic was fugued, and my brother's - don't laugh - G string snapped... People still thought we were good though, and a friend of Cheryl's even asked for all our autographs.

Anyway the pic is us. It's blurry - my dad took it - but it's us.

Heather.

The all-new real me

I am intellectual, honest, frank, empathetic, sensitive, free-spirited, compassionate, rational, and when the feeling strikes - libidinous. I can write good poetry when I want to, and my drawing abilities are above average.

I am a tantalizing cocktail of precocity and youth; clarity and confusion. I'm an adolescent and deeply ashamed of that fact. I have some bad habits, and most recently it has been the personality ones that I've noticed of late.

I like sex - let there be no doubt about that - but trust me when I tell you that I am not half as lascivious as I sometimes make out in this blog. It is mainly because I'd been using this blog to air dirty laundry, but I mean, I can to some extent be a little lurid in my other blog.

So yeah, I've decided that it's time that I ought to play a little truer to myself. This blog is being edited.

And if ae certain man happens to find this page, I tell thee that, yes, gee whizz, I'm 17 and part of me shows it - but let there be no doubt that I am discerning; I usually don't exert myself so much for a man. Uh... a relationship, I concluded, is hardly feasible. Which is why I felt like maybe seeing you sometime, finding out if you really are all that I imagine and pursuing something of a more light-hearted nature with you. I definitely think that you're someone I could get along with.

I'm very curious and communicative. I find it difficult to let folk whom I appear to be compatible with, on any level, just slip away. It feels like a loss. I need people to have intellectual discussions with!

Hear me!

And look - nice new pic, to capture that, soft, side of me.

Awwwwwww...

This young man, bless his little heart, is the latest in my string of web-suitors.

Annoyingly, the one person I would like to straddle senseless has made no overtures.

Yes, I probably ought to rename this blog "The Bitching Column". I'm not really a bitch, in fact, I'm not really bitching - but sometimes, one needs to air one's dirty laundry.

What is it about neds? - Are they a special type of breed? You take one look at this young lad and say "ned" - Don't you?

Man seeks hot date.

I'm on scotsman.com's personals thingy, even though I'm 17 and can't subscribe and can't contact anyone so it's pointless... (But shhh, don't grass me in for being 6 months too young.)

Anyway *clears throat*, this man contacted me. He's 39, bald, and ugly - to be frank. I sent him the oneliner of "I think our age difference would be too great."

He messaged back assuring me that he was "quite immature" for his age.

Great - 39, bald, ugly and immature. Count me in!

Blogexplosion!